319

Chapter 319: If Only I Could (5)

The Meister glanced at the Archmage’s dark expression, then shifted their gaze to Daniel.

“Is he truly at a dangerous point?”

Even without a subject, the discreet question was easy to understand. As though surprised to be asked, Daniel blinked several times.

“…How could I arbitrarily judge that? But hesitating until we lose something would not be wise.”

The statement seemed to retreat slightly, but ended as a warning. Understanding its meaning, the Meister narrowed their eyes.

“True. That is true.”

Well, in fact, there was hardly anything confusing about it. Had the Demon Knight not said something just this afternoon?

“Even if people’s lives were at stake, there is no way someone who sincerely attempted suicide can be in a sound state.”

“…What?”

“…What did you just say?”

Moreover, it was reasonable to assume he learned only after recovering all his memories that death would return him to his homeland. Until then, he had believed that dying here meant truly dying.

Even so, he had not only devised the worst measure in advance, but had worn it on his body. Worse, recalling what the man had said, if a need arose, there was a possibility he would attempt it again. After all, saying he had no intention of doing it yet was not the same as saying he would never do it.

Even the Meister, who understood little of ordinary human psychology, knew this was not normal. In other words, that bastard was not presently in a sound state.

“…S-su-suicide?”

While the Meister continued thinking, the Archmage received a tremendous shock from the word too terrible to place in her mouth.

The Demon Knight had always treated his life lightly, but she had never imagined matters had reached the point where he would make an attempt himself. Her fur stood on end, then drooped like the head of someone in despair.

“…I must speak with him tomorrow.”

But her despair did not last long.

“I will go first.”

Whatever change of heart she had undergone, light returned to her eyes and strength entered them. The two young people left behind scratched the backs of their necks as the Archmage departed in an instant.

“What are you going to do?”

“…Me?”

“Didn’t you raise the subject because you want to help?”

“That is… true, but….”

At the Meister’s observation, Daniel rolled his eyes. Not for long. Under the Meister’s pointed gaze, he sighed as if conceding the point.

“Our relationship is one in which we make each other uncomfortable. How could intimate feelings be exchanged under such circumstances?”

“So you intend to stand aside?”

“…I did tell him that if there was anything he wished to be angry with me about, he could express it at any time. But I doubt he will follow those words. Some people prefer endurance to expression, and he clearly appeared to belong to the latter category.”

The Meister accepted Daniel’s words at once. A man who had tried to embrace a fault that was not his and die could not possibly belong to the former. It was an obvious conclusion. The Demon Knight was unquestionably the enduring type.

“Then we have even less reason to wait.”

As long as the Demon Knight possessed that disposition, they had to move all the more.

“Because he will absolutely never move first.”

A person who found it easier to endure would never approach people who were not even close to him first, even if heaven and earth overturned.

“…That is true. But forcing our way closer will only have the opposite effect.”

“Ah, I know that much. People like him don’t like others crossing the lines they draw.”

“…How surprising. I thought you would not know.”

“……?”

…This bastard?

For a moment, the Meister contemplated whether to strike Daniel in the throat. They refrained only because a question arrived just before impulse defeated reason.

“Why do you care for him, Meister?”

“…What do you mean?”

“No… From the beginning, it was obvious that the Hero and that rash young man followed him, but you did not.”

“So you find it strange that I’m throwing myself into the affairs of someone who doesn’t seem close to me?”

“…If that is how you choose to understand it, I have nothing to say.”

The phrasing displeased the Meister somewhat, but it was not an unreasonable question from the other side’s perspective. After consideration, they refined their thoughts and expressed them in words.

“Because the fact that we haven’t been close until now doesn’t mean I don’t want to be close in the future?”

“…What?”

“In a world filled with idiots, how many humans can actually hold a conversation like that bastard?”

“That is your reason…?”

“Ah, and there are things I need to learn from him.”

Even by the Meister’s standards, few people possessed interesting knowledge. There were fewer still who communicated well enough that the Meister did not feel displeased in their company.

And once the condition of not mocking the Meister’s dream and instead recognizing it was included, that bastard became the only one.

“To summarize it, yes. That is the reason.”

That was why. It was why the Meister acted now. With a light heart, the Meister defined the principles behind their behavior.

“I seeee….”

“Is that expression meant to provoke me?”

“…No.”

Daniel’s expression turned somewhat uncomfortable after hearing everything.

“In any case, you still haven’t thought of a method?”

“No, regrettably.”

“Ah… How troublesome…. Why does that bastard have to be the type who keeps everything inside?”

Wouldn’t it be better if he lived boldly like the Meister, drinking and punching enemies in the face? After grumbling with every possible complaint, the Meister abruptly stopped. A rather convincing method had occurred to them.

“…Alcohol.”

“……?”

“Can’t we simply get him drunk?”

“What??”

That was it. The Meister’s eyes gleamed.

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Caw, caaaaw!

“……!”

Birds gathered in search of corpses cried out, and my eyes flew open. Rustle. Turning my head, I saw thick curtains blocking every ray of sunlight and a room left dark by the absence of even a single light.

[Oh, Gretchen. Finally awake?]

I flailed several times as I tried to escape the soft king-sized bed. Even if I wanted to rise with some dignity, the bedding sank so deeply that I nearly had to roll out.

It was not uncomfortable, but escaping was somewhat difficult.

‘How long did I sleep…?’

This was my first time feeling so comfortable my body seemed ready to fly. I staggered out of bed and approached the wall where faint light seeped inside. The light entering through the gaps between the curtains had a sharp quality.

[Who knows. Fourteen hours?]

Swoosh!

Wrath’s indifferent answer overlapped with the curtains being drawn, stabbing my eyes. The sunlight was so powerful that it nearly erased every shadow. Even without a clock, I could tell it was noon. My mind reeled.

‘Seriously?’

[Seriously.]

Wow. I never slept this long even in the Great Forest.

Marveling at my sleeping time, I opened the window. Clack, clack. The precious glass pane opened along its wooden frame and admitted the outside wind. The lukewarm air, mixed with the smell of burning, snapped me fully awake.

“Throw it this way!”

“We burn it at the count! One, two!”

…Ah. Right. Even when an incident ended, cleaning up remained.

I twitched my nose at the smell of burning mixed into the air. There was no need to turn my mind over to realize that the smoke rising throughout the city was the cause.

“…They’re burning a great deal.”

[Behemoth governed Gluttony, but was also a courier that carried plague.]

Plague. That single word was enough for me to understand why people were burning things so diligently. The acrid smoke was a desperate struggle on behalf of those who remained.

[How pitiful… to have no choice but to burn things while breathing this smell every time.]

I don’t want to keep breathing this. I stepped half a pace back from the window and rested my fingers on the frame. Creak. The window closed beneath my hand.

Ironically, the air inside seemed better than the air outside.

‘More importantly, Faust, did the conversation end well?’

Even if I could not air out the room, I should at least welcome the day. Leaving only the window closed, I drew back all the curtains that had darkened the room. Swoosh, swoosh. Even as several curtains opened, no answer to my question came.

‘Faust?’

[The conversation concluded reasonably well, and the brat is asleep now. He probably won’t wake for some time.]

Perhaps I looked slightly alarmed, because Wrath kindly whispered the situation into my ear.

‘Why?’

Naturally, that did not put all my questions to rest.

‘Did you try some other trick—?’

[Damn it, why do you blame everything on me? Do you distrust me that much, Gretchen?]

‘Would you trust yourself if you were me?’

[…I did not do it. Truly.]

Faced with my reasonable suspicion, Wrath tucked their tail first. They were no puppy, so I felt no sympathy. Folding my arms, I glared at the bastard even though they had not materialized.

‘Then why did he suddenly fall asleep?’

[Because his soul is broken.]

‘…His soul is broken?’

Even without knowing the details, the sentence could only sound ominous. I unfolded the arms I had just crossed. Hmph. The demon audibly snorted.

[It’s nothing serious. Simply… We lacked a little sacrifice when summoning you, so we tore off a corner. Then, when you were agonizing over a shortage of Mana, we needed something from which to borrow it and cut away another piece. That is roughly how part of his soul was lost.]

‘What did you say, you bastard?’

So the soul had been used as a sacrifice? The part when summoning me was one thing, but when I agonized over lacking Mana?

‘By a shortage of Mana, you mean….’

[Why, it’s in your skill window. Life-Force Conversion. That skill.]

‘…Wasn’t that exchanging life force for Mana?’

[Oh, Gretchen. Think realistically. Do you truly believe life force is a numerical value that exists? A person’s condition changes each day. Health is their overall resistance to illness. A body possesses innate abilities. None of those can ever be quantified, least of all through an equivocal term like life force.]

‘Then why did you display it that way…?’

[Because we had to pretend this was a game. Isn’t it obvious?]

Momentarily dumbfounded, I gripped my forehead. No wonder seeing HP and how it actually applied had always seemed subtly different. Even accounting for Indomitable Will activating, there had been many moments when I wondered why my HP had not reached zero.

‘…I thought that was all your doing.’

[It is not as though I did nothing.]

‘Enough. Life-Force Conversion is sealed now. Sealed. Just watch me never use it again.’

[Why? If you’re in danger, you should use it.]

‘Shut the fuck up. Say that after offering your own soul, you bastard.’

I raised my middle finger at the piece of trash who spoke carelessly because it was not their soul, then sighed softly. It was truly fortunate that I had learned this now, but separately, it was so unexpected that it made my head ache. I needlessly pressed at my throbbing head with my fingers.

‘Enough. If his broken soul is the problem, why was he able to converse normally until now? Or did something else happen last night that broke it further?’

There was still a story I needed to hear. After committing the problem with Life-Force Conversion to memory, I steered the conversation back on course. Wrath, who had responded to my demand for their soul only by whistling, readily answered.

[Hmm. That isn’t it… How should I put this? The broken soul is not the direct cause of the brat’s sleep. In human terms, his lifespan? His allotted years? Something of that sort leaking through the cracks is the true cause.]

‘…What?’

[Oh, I’m telling you in advance because I think you might misunderstand: it does not happen ordinarily. Only when he occupies the surface consciousness.]

‘But why in the world…?’

[That is somewhat complicated to explain as well… Roughly speaking, because three souls exist in one body, a kind of pressure forms and causes the leakage. Inside the mental world, the pressure is lower, so it is all right. But controlling the body is different. The same applies when sending a spiritual form outside.]

Damn it, not one thing I hear is good news.

I rubbed the back of my neck anew as my blood pressure rose with every word. I truly had no idea where the happiness I felt upon awakening had gone.

‘Sending a spiritual form outside means… that, right? Like when you pop out?’

[Yes.]

‘Damn it, why didn’t that brat tell me—?’

Meanwhile, guessing why Faust had kept silent only made it more frustrating. That child was so conscious of having done wrong that he refused to display even the slightest craftiness. I was going to die of pent-up anger.

‘Fuck. Fuck, seriously….’

Unable to endure any longer, I repeated the same curse two or perhaps four or five times. I wanted to live without cursing if possible, but it was impossible. This was too fucking awful.

‘…So how long will he sleep?’

[Who knows? At the very least, he probably won’t wake today. He lost no less than a month of life yesterday.]

‘…How long did that conversation last?’

[Not especially long. Two hours? Three?]

‘He lost that much lifespan from only that?’

[That is why the brat cannot regain consciousness, isn’t it?]

‘…….’

It was truly fucking awful.

My mood plunged into a deep mire.

Step, step.

“…Haah.”

But life did not arrange events according to my feelings. Hearing the presence pacing back and forth in the corridor, I bit my lip, then finally squeezed my eyes shut.

“If you have business, come in. Stop walking back and forth.”

“…May I truly do so, Demon Knight?”

“…Yes.”

The visitor was the Archmage.