323

Chapter 323: If Only I Could (9)

“…I am sorry as well. For failing to understand your circumstances, and for not stepping forward to defend you….”

In the meantime, the Archmage had regained her composure and was piecing together one apology after another. Some concerned things that made me wonder whether she needed to apologize at all, some were plainly matters in which she had been at fault, and some were incidents that had hurt me at the time, though I had been unable to show it.

“…I am also truly sorry that I hesitated because of the oracle and failed to declare firmly that I would protect you. I know this is not something that can be settled with an apology, but even so….”

But there was something rather puzzling about the last one. It was less that I thought she had nothing to apologize for than that a particular word buried within her statement kept prodding at my nerves.

I did not hold back the question.

“I wanted to ask you about that. What exactly was this oracle?”

“…You don’t know?”

“When the Inquisitor tried to kill me, she did mention an oracle. But I was in no position to ask her about it separately….”

Afterward, given the circumstances—and because the Inquisitor had backed down—I had thought perhaps it no longer meant much and buried it in some unconscious corner of my mind.

But now that the Archmage’s remark had brought it fully back to me, I wanted to hear about it.

“So did God truly deliver an oracle concerning me?”

Was it really true that a god who had done nothing but watch no matter how horribly I suffered had now issued an oracle to kill me? At my question, the Archmage’s pupils wavered for a moment.

“Well, the truth is….”

Apparently, no matter how hard I pretended to be calm, something still subtly seeped into my voice.

Watching my reaction, the Archmage cautiously told me the story. It was not a long one. The oracle consisted of only three sentences, and even after allowing room for interpretation, it grew to no more than five.

“…Hah.”

Yet even before such a short oracle, I sank into deep contemplation. Kill him. Save him. Send him back. But no matter how much I considered it, I always reached the same conclusion.

“How in the world does God go about handling—”

No, fuck. Both the fact that the oracle was split into three parts and what those parts meant were blatantly aimed at me. God had not been ignorant of my circumstances. God had clearly known all of it!

And yet, after knowing everything, God had only watched until now? Worse, God had watched until an opening appeared and then sent an oracle that could force matters to a conclusion? Without consulting my wishes in the slightest?

“That son of a….”

My disbelief vanished, and a curse escaped by reflex before I cut myself off. My brain’s desperate appeal that this was a world where religion wielded immense influence had saved me.

“Ahem.”

The Archmage’s awkward cough also helped sustain my patience. Using her discomposure as a weight, I somehow pressed down my dissatisfaction.

“I-I understand how you feel, but….”

Meanwhile, the Archmage swallowed two or three times, apparently trying to decide what she wished to tell me. “Well….” But the words did not follow easily. Given my circumstances, perhaps she found it difficult to rebuke me for insulting God.

“…It is all right when it is only me, but please do not do that in front of the Temple. I am not scolding you, it is just, well… You know, don’t you? They are rather….”

“…Do not worry. I possess that much self-restraint.”

In the end, rather than reproach me, she offered only a mild request. It was not difficult to understand. Religions tended toward zealotry, and this world’s religion lived up to that expectation with a great many exceedingly fervent priests.

Given my situation on top of that, she could hardly avoid saying so. Instead of objecting, I readily accepted it.

“…Well, um.”

Perhaps I had agreed too meekly, because now the Archmage began watching my reaction. Maybe her conscience troubled her.

“…I do not understand God’s choice either. Nor am I certain it is truly right.”

After a long while, the Archmage spoke to me in a whisper.

“That is why I will support you. Whatever you choose, however you act.”

Viewed one way, those words were nothing remarkable.

But considering the power religion held in this world, their weight changed enormously. She had just chosen to set aside the faith that had influenced her throughout her life and take my side.

“…Thank you.”

“I am only sorry I could not do so until now.”

Looking back, the Inquisitor’s decision to let me live must have carried the same weight. No, perhaps hers had been even greater. The Archmage did not belong to the Temple, while the Inquisitor had been chosen by God—a direct subordinate of sorts.

…Though even if she had ultimately given it up, it was impossible to regard her behavior before then in a favorable light.

Feeling a thin layer of happiness and a great deal of hurt over that point, I leaned my back against the sofa. Step, step. My senses, which I had briefly closed off, caught the sound of footsteps.

Rustle. My hand pulled the edge of my hood up.

“……? What is it?”

The Archmage tilted her head at my sudden movement. After carefully pulling the hood down so my hair color would not show, I answered her.

“I believe the meal is coming.”

“Ah.”

My senses did not fail me. Not long afterward, there came a knock at the door.

“Come in.”

“Pardon the intrusion.”

The well-oiled door opened soundlessly, and several servants entered. There were no fewer than three trolleys, which spoke to how much food they had brought.

“Oh….”

The lavish sight left me speechless. Set, set, set. That feeling only grew as each dish was placed on the table from the trolleys.

Smoked fish steak, sweet-and-sour fish, steamed fish, fish stew… It was a menu that made me wonder if every scrap of land-dwelling meat in the city had gone extinct.

“…Muenmunt certainly entertains its guests lavishly.”

“I-it certainly does.”

“It is an honor that you find it lavish.”

Usually, when someone served a feast in a place like this, there were few vegetable dishes, if any. Yet there were plenty here. It was nice in a way, but it suited my tastes so perfectly that I found it disconcerting instead. Had they somehow known?

“If anything is lacking or you require something, please ring the bell at any time.”

While I wrestled with my thoughts, the butler continued. I did not need to be told which bell to ring. Click. A bell the size of my palm was placed on the table. It had a handle, allowing me to pick it up and shake it whenever I wished.

“…There must be many residents suffering from the attack. I do not know whether it is right for me to enjoy such luxury.”

I stared blankly at the bell, then suddenly realized it. Things could not be going well, so was it really right for them to go this far for me? Was it all right for me alone to indulge like this while everyone else suffered?

“We are merely repaying the hero who saved the city as we ought. Please do not decline. Eat.”

Even so… I wasn’t the only person who had done everything required to save the city. I would not deny that my role had been large, but without the Inquisitor and the other soldiers, the city would have fallen long ago.

“I was not the one who accomplished everything.”

I thought of the soldiers who had held out tenaciously while I struck down the leader and of the Inquisitor who had stopped Behemoth’s charge. Had they not been there, the city would have been destroyed even if I killed the Great Demon.

In other words, even setting my personal feelings aside, they were clearly leading contributors as well. If saving the city was grounds for special treatment, then it was not right for me alone to receive all of this.

“Do not worry. There is too much to set right for us to guarantee them rest, but the Young Lord is ensuring they receive plenty of food. Every soldier who distinguished themselves, without exception.”

Understanding my meaning, the Archmage hurriedly explained the situation.

“Furthermore, no one in this city could deny your contribution. Who would possibly object to you receiving the most gracious treatment? This is not discrimination. It is only proper.”

Only then did I feel somewhat more at ease.

“…I understand.”

In truth, the moment every dish had been prepared and placed before me, accepting them was the only sensible course. However unable I was to reconcile myself to it, I could not throw all this food away.

Besides, I had skipped breakfast. I was hungry.

And with such dishes assaulting my eyes and nose under those circumstances, how long could I possibly hold out? In the end, I turned away from the minor concerns.

“Please summon us at any time if it is not enough.”

“I will.”

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Once the servants who had set down the food filed out, I properly reached for the meal. The chef had removed all the small bones in advance, so there was no inconvenience as I ate.

The fish held together beneath my fork, yet melted softly once it entered my mouth, delighting my tongue.

“…It is delicious.”

“Is it?”

It felt as though I were encountering every fish dish I would ever eat in my life all in one day.

I pushed food into my mouth while roughly observing the proper etiquette. I had not mastered this world’s table manners, but I somehow filled the gaps with all the experience I had accumulated thus far. I doubted I was making any serious mistakes.

“Yes, yes. Have some of this too.”

More importantly, even if I was wrong, it probably did not matter much.

After all, what were they going to do if I made a mistake? Call me ignorant to my face? Pick a fight?

Thinking that such a thing would be novel in its own way, I thoroughly chewed and swallowed the fish the Archmage kept placing on my plate. If left unchecked, she would pile it into a small mountain, so I had no choice.

“You should eat as well, Mage.”

Still, because I finished the food a little faster than she could serve it, I deboned a piece of fish and handed it to her as soon as an opportunity arose. The chef had removed all the fine bones, so at most, my “deboning” amounted to separating it from the skeleton.

“Oh….”

Yet even that moved the Archmage. I wondered why such a small, trivial kindness—nothing more than removing fish from its skeleton—made her so happy.

“Thank you.”

But upon reconsideration, it made sense. Examined in detail, this was not merely a matter of showing kindness. From her perspective, someone with a ruined personality had regained his memories, become human again, and returned.

Feeling awkward about that, I poured the Archmage some water and placed a little more fish on her plate. She regarded me with even greater satisfaction.

“What is the status of the purification zones?”

“At present, ten percent of the residents have returned to their homes.”

Gunter received the report with eyes that had managed no more than brief snatches of sleep. News that was not good, but was not likely to deteriorate rapidly either, lined up one item after another.

“How is the soldiers’ morale?”

“Not bad. In fact, it is rather high.”

“…Is that so? A relief.”

It was unexpected news, considering the city had faced destruction once, the process had been rife with events liable to crush morale—such as comrades killing and eating one another—the plague still remained, and the soldiers’ families might still be in danger.

Gunter twirled his pen for a moment as he considered the unexpected good fortune.

“What do you believe caused morale to rise? The generous food rations? The priests giving them priority for treatment?”

“Those factors certainly had an effect, but I believe the strongest were that the disappearance of the Great Demon’s colossal body from sight gave victory a clear and tangible form, that the knight who slew that demon remains in the city, and that the priest who helped defeat it is personally saving the people… among other things.”

“The knight and the Hero.”

Gunter quickly accepted the commander’s analysis.

The courage of the knight who had fought the demon alone to protect the city and the magnificent golden wonder that had blocked the Great Demon’s crushing advance were both sights that would naturally have moved the soldiers.

“Good. Take care that morale does not fall any further. Be generous with meat and alcohol as well. So long as the soldiers do not become drunk and cause trouble, give them as much as they want.”

But that was quite literally an exceptional case brought about by good fortune.

Bearing that in mind, Gunter closely examined the state of their provisions. He judged that the soldiers’ discontent would lessen if they were allowed to eat and drink as much as circumstances permitted.

“Guarantee them as much rest as possible without disrupting operations. They may not be able to rest for long, but let them rest comfortably without worrying what anyone thinks.”

“Yes, my lord.”

They had controlled food supplies throughout the war and requisitioned a great deal in any case. Given the present state of affairs, no one would be able to whine for its return.

So they could afford to use it more freely. Gunter concluded by ordering them to secure comfortable places for the soldiers to rest, even if they had to break into houses whose owners could not be found. They could compensate the owners later, so he felt no pang of conscience.

Pressing firmly at his temples, he handled the remaining issues one by one. Every one of them was a headache, but each left room for a solution.

“…Have we somehow managed it?”

Yes. There were things they would have to abandon, but in the end, every problem could be overcome. Only then did Gunter understand that they—that this city—had overcome this terrible ordeal.

“We really did manage it somehow….”

Strangely, he was not very happy.

“Did you require something, my lord?”

“…I called you to ask about our guest’s condition.”

He dispatched a soldier to summon two knights, then rang the bell and called for the butler. This was the butler he trusted most, enough to entrust the reception of their guest entirely to him.

“Did the guest eat?”

“Yes. At first, our guest appeared somewhat uncomfortable about receiving special treatment alone, but thanks to the Archmage’s persuasion, a proper meal was eaten.”

“And the food was to the guest’s taste?”

“They seemed to be discussing something important, so I did not personally watch the meal. However, most of the dishes were emptied. It appears the food was not disagreeable.”

“…That is a relief.”

Gunter was filled with complicated emotions at the news that Faust… that the person using Faust’s body had eaten well.

“Continue serving meals like that from now on. Eating the same things will grow tiresome, so include some variety.”

“Do not worry, my lord.”

“Good. I trust you.”

Still, eating was better than not eating. Gunter sent the butler away after again asking him to attend to every detail so the guest could rest well.

“You summoned us, my lord?”

As though taking a baton from the butler, the two knights entered less than a minute after he left.

“Knight Topaz. Knight Sapphire.”

“Yes.”

“Give us your command.”

There was a reason he had called these two out of all the knights who survived.

“Both of you must have questions about that knight.”

They had some history of meeting Faust—or rather, that knight—relatively closely and directly.

“Bury them. If anyone asks you about him from now on, say that you do not know or that you did not see him clearly. Do not try to investigate on your own either.”

Ah, come to think of it, there were also the soldiers ordered to watch him and the ones who had personally brought Faust into the city.

Gunter made a note to silence them as well, then looked at the two knights in turn. Initially puzzled, they stiffened when they saw his expression.

“May we ask the reason…?”

“That question is included in what I just said.”

“…Is that an order?”

“Yes. It is an order. From now on, you will remember exactly one thing about that being: he helped us. That and nothing else. Forget everything besides it. Everything he said, everything you saw him do.”

What would this order mean to them? Would it look as though he were trying to protect a demon?

『You’re the only person I can ask, Hyung.』

But they were the ones who had brought him to this place against his will.

“Do you understand?”

To bear responsibility for that, Gunter acted for the sake of the man’s sole remaining family. It would be the greatest overreach of his authority in this position, and the final time he abused it.

“We shall obey.”

Ah, Faust. Is this enough?

Sorrow colored both of his eyes.