296

Chapter 296 — Proof (1)

Sometimes, I think about things like this.

After giving directions to a tourist who had asked me for help, what if, ten minutes later or an hour later, instead of thinking, Ah, I wonder if that person made it there. Should I have explained it more carefully? I could simply trust that they had probably arrived just fine and put it out of my mind.

What if, when I saw an elderly person stamping their feet in frustration and asking what online reservations even were, why even the train leaving five hours later had no tickets left, I could merely click my tongue and think, That’s unfortunate, but there’s nothing I can do.

What if I were the kind of person who could turn away from a crying child because the child had nothing to do with me and getting involved would only be troublesome?

Would my life have been a little easier?

Could I have lived a better life than I do now?

Could I have been a little happier……?

『…They were the ones who posted the malicious comments first, so why are they insulting you, Dad? If they didn’t want to get sued, they shouldn’t have posted them in the first place.』

『They’re all just sick at heart. Don’t worry about it too much.』

『But… it makes me angry. You didn’t even do anything wrong…….』

『Right. Being famous isn’t a crime. But some malice appears without any reason, and sometimes people express it without any particular trigger.』

『…That’s unreasonable.』

『That’s just the way the world is.』

Whenever I have thoughts like that, however, the memory of this moment always follows.

『But don’t get disappointed in humanity and suddenly turn into a cynic because of that. Just as there’s malice without a reason in this world, there’s also kindness without a reason. You’re like that. Your mother is too.』

『…But there are too few people like that.』

『Hmm. That’s true. But just because there aren’t many doesn’t mean they’re meaningless.』

『…I don’t know. If it really mattered, shouldn’t more people participate, even if it isn’t everyone?』

『Uh… well. That’s because people don’t have enough room in their lives…….』

『Then am I helping people because I have so much room to spare?』

『…Just because a lot of people support something doesn’t mean it’s always right, so maybe you shouldn’t judge it by numbers?』

『Then what about majority rule?』

『That’s used when deciding whether a proposal passes or fails. You shouldn’t use numbers to decide what’s right or wrong. Think about it. Even if there were more criminals than non-criminals, that wouldn’t suddenly make the criminals right.』

『There’s no way there would ever be more criminals than non-criminals.』

『Really? But doesn’t what you just said prove there are more good people than bad people?』

『That… feels like a slightly different issue.』

『You never let anything slide, do you?』

Sunlight passing through the glass and spilling into the living room.

White curtains gently swaying in the breeze slipping through the gap in the window.

The L-shaped sofa where, if Dad and I lay facing one another in the middle, our feet would stick out over the ends…….

『…Truthfully, Dad doesn’t really understand it either. What’s fun about posting malicious comments, or what meaning there is in tearing another person down one-sidedly. What benefit you gain from showing malice besides ruining your own reputation. But… I think I can explain why kindness without a reason matters. I just thought of it.』

His voice poured over me warmly, like sunlight touching the tips of my feet, gentle as the mild spring breeze drifting through the room.

『What is it?』

『You remember that thing we saw on TV recently, right? They found traces of leg-amputation surgery on a skeleton from fifteen thousand years ago.』

『Oh, that. Why?』

『Back then, you were amazed and said, “Wow, they performed surgery even in that era?” But one anthropologist was surprised by something else.』

『……?』

『Look. Even in this era, with all kinds of technology available, people with disabilities still experience small inconveniences. Then imagine how difficult things must have been fifteen thousand years ago, when they had none of those things. And what about the people who had to support someone who lost a leg? Back then, it probably wouldn’t have been enough for only that person’s blood relatives to help. Their entire tribe would have had to pitch in.』

『…Right?』

『But here’s the thing. All of that hardship could have been solved if they had simply abandoned the person who lost the leg. If they didn’t support that person, they wouldn’t have needed to struggle any more than usual. But even so, they didn’t abandon them. Instead, they treated them and looked after them until the wound healed. What do you think that meant?』

『That’s…….』

『That’s where the anthropologist Margaret Mead had a thought. People say civilization began in Egypt, or Mesopotamia, or somewhere like that. But perhaps the true beginning was actually the moment humans first helped someone else. When so many animals obey the laws of nature and abandon injured members of their own kind, we humans chose to care for them, treat them, and survive together. Maybe that choice is what allowed us to create the age we live in now.』

Thirty minutes that built the person I am.

『Like I said earlier, Dad doesn’t really understand why people these days dress up cruelty and coldness as rationality and even throw basic manners away. I don’t understand why they belittle helping others as something stupid, or why they justify rudeness by calling it “cathartic.” I’ve never once thought any of that looked admirable. But at the very least, I know that none of those things are what separate humans from animals. I’m certain of that much.』

『…….』

『So, son. Ignore people who mistake selfishness for rationality. You don’t need to pay attention to people who hurt others for their own amusement or prioritize themselves without the slightest consideration for anyone else. Those people are idiots who don’t even measure up to humans from fifteen thousand years ago. No matter how many there are, no matter how many more people gradually begin agreeing with them, that will never change.』

Sometimes, I think about things like this.

『Ah, but just because I said all that doesn’t mean I’m telling my son to sacrifice himself for everyone else, okay? The world works on the principle that you need to look after yourself before you can take care of anyone else. So when things become too much, take care of yourself first. Helping others comes afterward.』

What if, after sending someone on their way with directions, I became the kind of person who never wondered how they were doing afterward?

『But… if you’ve already taken care of yourself and still have something left to spare. And if someone near you needs help. And if nobody else is stepping forward to help them.』

What if I became someone incapable of feeling sympathy for a person who couldn’t adapt to a changing society?

『Reach out to them at least once. I’m not asking you to do anything enormous. Even simply helping someone who fell get back onto their feet is enough. Just… show them even that much kindness.』

What if I became someone capable of ignoring a crying child simply because getting involved would be troublesome?

『Who knows? Maybe that one time will change that person’s entire life.』

Would I be happy?

『…And I’ll say it again. This is after you’ve taken care of yourself. Got it?』

…I finally have an answer to that question.

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『You resemble your mother too much, so moments like this make me worry. That’s part of why I love you, but still, you really don’t look after yourself enough.』

『I think I look after myself reasonably well…….』

『That’s what you and your mother think… From Dad’s perspective, the point where you finally stop enduring things is absurdly far down. I’m really glad I at least managed to earn a lot of money…….』

What point was there in imagining becoming that kind of person?

I was someone who simply couldn’t.

* * *

The moment I opened my eyes, a filthy tusk filled my vision.

My body bent violently, almost folding in half.

Whoosh!

The powerful wind dragged along by the tusk whipped my hair wildly.

I could feel the flies and moths buzzing all around me clinging densely to my body and gnawing at whatever they could reach.

It was threatening enough that I couldn’t simply ignore it.

No wonder blood had kept flooding into the mental world even though I was dodging so well.

I clicked my tongue as I landed on the mud.

Sliiide.

The waterlogged mud sent my body skidding backward, but I didn’t lose my balance.

I moved the Demonic Energy inside me.

I didn’t know whether it had recovered in the meantime or whether Mephistopheles had finally released what she’d been hoarding.

Now that it no longer converted into Mana, it was merely darker and thicker than before.

Using it didn’t feel particularly different.

The Demonic Energy swirled through my body and incinerated the insects that had burrowed inside me.

Crnch, crnch.

I couldn’t burn the one eating my hair.

Or rather, my wig.

“Damn it!”

I wasn’t going to lose Equa’s gift to some fucking insects.

Identity be damned.

I shoved the wig straight into my Inventory.

It must have absorbed an absurd amount of demon blood, because even the brief touch against my fingers felt stiff and unpleasant.

Considering how breathable the wig was, my real hair underneath was probably in about the same condition.

Bang!

Even while all that was happening, my body, still operating under its emergency measures, jumped once more to avoid the monster’s forepaw.

I went flying farther away from the wall.

BOOOOM!

A single kick shook the earth and caved in part of the fortification.

That was the majesty of a monster whose sheer size was itself a weapon.

‘To repair your body, concentrate Demonic Energy in the damaged area.’

“Why don’t you stop talking as if your thoughts are mine? It’s kind of unpleasant.”

[How hurtful.]

Advice was advice.

Being annoyed was being annoyed.

Even while I was occupied with dodging, I snapped at her, and something slowly rose at the edge of my vision.

A translucent demonic figure, transparent enough that I could faintly see the scenery behind her, stood tall upon the earth.

“What?”

[Why? This much is fine, isn’t it? Looking at me doesn’t drain your mental strength or anything.]

“It raises my irritation level.”

[Oh, endure that much for me. I came out here to help you, after all.]

Help?

Having something prancing around at the edge of my vision counted as help?

“I like Faust better than you.”

[How unfortunate. That child can’t come out right now. If you really want to see him, ask him later. His soul is damaged and he’s suffering the contract penalty too, so it’ll be extremely difficult for him to manifest, though.]

I frowned and opened my mouth to respond, but the demon spoke first.

[Heal yourself first. The larger your wounds become, the more Demonic Energy it costs to restore them, and right now you can’t afford to waste even a single speck.]

“…It isn’t working very well.”

[Because all you’re doing is gathering it. Imagine filling the wound with the Demonic Energy you gathered. Imagine the Demonic Energy replacing the missing bone and muscle, blood and flesh.]

Annoying as it was, the advice genuinely helped.

I obediently moved the Demonic Energy as she instructed.

Crack-crrk.

Unlike the mental world, where injuries vanished as though someone had cut that part out of a video, here I briefly watched fresh flesh grow and fill the wounds.

Apparently, the claim that I could survive even with my heart torn apart hadn’t been an exaggeration.

[Once you’ve healed, grab Ratel. Or at least pick up that sword lying around on the ground. Attacking purely with Demonic Energy is inefficient.]

…Even now, telling me to grab a weapon was absolutely the correct advice.

So why did hearing it from her irritate me this much?

My lips twitched as I touched the white substance wrapped around my joints.

Despite looking like bone, it was flexible yet hard.

It began gathering back into my palm.

“Does this thing have a limit on how long it can stretch?”

[At its widest expansion, it covered roughly one hundred pyeong at a thickness of 0.5 millimeters.]

Oh…

I had absolutely no idea how large that was.

I could roughly estimate a single pyeong by eye, but how large was one hundred again?

I blinked and tried calculating it before giving up.

If it could expand across one hundred pyeong, then it could certainly do what I wanted.

Swoosh!

The white substance shot outward from my palm in one long strand and snatched up the amber-colored sword lying on the ground.

[You really do conserve every little thing. But if you’re going to that much trouble, why not just fight with Ratel?]

“What are you talking about?”

[…Even the Demonic Energy you spent using Ratel to retrieve that is a waste. Well, I suppose it’s better than retrieving it with Demonic Energy alone.]

“What the hell are you talking about? I could bring it over using only Demonic Energy?”

[What force did you think you were using all this time when you cut and pierced other people’s bodies?]

At my question, the demon narrowed her eyes as though looking at an idiot.

[Pushing isn’t the only form of physical force. Pulling is physical force too.]

The fact that she still explained it was almost funny.

[You’re reasonably skilled at controlling Demonic Energy, yet your imagination is astonishingly shallow. Why not develop that ability, Gretchen?]

“I think my imagination would become much richer if you just shut your mouth.”

[Really? Then I suppose you’ll have to live your entire life inflexible.]

CLANG!

The sword in my hand knocked aside the approaching tusk.

This was the first time a blade saturated so thoroughly with Demonic Energy that it seemed to burn had failed to cut something and instead bounced away.

Whoosh.

My body flew backward together with the sword.

A dull pressure crushed my organs as though my insides had been violently shaken.

I could heal it almost immediately, but it still didn’t feel good.

[Eri— Don’t mess with Behemoth’s tusks or horns. You could cut through them if you really committed to it, but the cost-efficiency is terrible.]

“You’re telling me that now?”

[I go out of my way to explain the strategy to you, and you blame me? I see you’ve lost your conscience too, dear Gretchen.]

Ptui.

I spat out the lump of blood that had risen into my mouth and reset my stance.

The insects crawling across my skin and repeatedly poking their heads into openings like my nose and ears were extremely irritating, but I forced myself to ignore them.

[That bastard is disgustingly stupid, but its body is even tougher and harder than its brain is dull. So don’t attack everywhere. Focus on one place. Even better if you target soft tissue, like the eyes or the inside of the ears.]

Standing behind me, the demon gently recited instructions for hunting the beast.

[When you attack, use thrusts focused onto a single point rather than slashes. Once you pierce the skin, injecting Demonic Energy inside and setting it on fire is also fairly effective. The idiot’s hide is so thick it can’t even vent heat properly.]

She was unbelievably irritating.

But she was helpful.

I pushed strength into my feet, thinking that this fucking garbage game—no, this fucking garbage reality—had finally received a balance patch.

BOOM!

The instant my body shot forward, the gigantic monster slammed down a forepaw.

The ground sank another level, and the wall suffered another round of damage.

“God, it stinks.”

At least I escaped without being injured.

My legs continued racing beneath Behemoth’s belly.

The shaking earth tried several times to throw off my balance, but my sharpened nerves prevented it.

BUZZZZZZZZZZ!!

Whether they were fur or moss, countless strands hung from the creature’s belly, and tens of thousands of insects beat their wings between them.

The noise tormenting my ears was worse than an airplane.

Some even flew into my mouth and nose.

Urgh.

Holding back a torrent of curses—opening my mouth to swear would probably just let more insects inside—I swung my sword.

There were so many that a single slash cut apart dozens at once.

[…Burn them.]

But what did throwing a sugar cube into the ocean accomplish?

No matter how many insects I cut down, they instantly filled the space again.

Eventually, the demon suggested another option.

I could see the contempt and irritation in her eyes directed toward the insect nest.

Her personality was filthier than the insects themselves, so I’d expected her to find this place downright cozy.

Apparently not.

She’d been singing endlessly about conserving Demonic Energy, and now she wanted me to use it here.

[Fill yourself with rage and the flames will arise naturally. Burn them. Burn all those filthy things!]

No.

Demonic Energy was too valuable.

Driven entirely by the desire to spite the demon, I stubbornly refused to create flames.

Instead, I crossed beneath that enormous belly and reached Behemoth’s rear.

I had arrived after weaving between pounding hind legs and the body twisting from side to side.

[You insane Gretchen……!]

Sliiide.

I twisted my body while skidding across the mud.

The filthy backside occupied most of my vision, while Behemoth’s tail whipped overhead, creating gust after gust.

“Hup.”

But instead of giving in, I tightened my grip on my weapon.

The amber-colored sword belonged to someone else, so Ratel filled my palm instead.

Shrrrk.

Using Demonic Energy as its framework, Ratel changed shape.

A spear.

The white spear saturated with Demonic Energy gleamed viciously like the fang of a wild beast.

[I did tell you to target soft tissue, but…….]

The black-and-white spear flew directly toward Behemoth’s anus.

[I saw your revolting choice quite clearly.]

GROOOOOOOOOAR!!

No matter which demon it came from, the sound of a demon getting absolutely furious was wonderful to hear.

“What? If you don’t like it, fight instead.”

[…I didn’t know you were this childish.]

“Humans are all childish. It only gets hidden depending on how often we’re forced to pretend to be mature.”

I retreated from Behemoth, which began bucking wildly like an enraged horse the instant the spear struck its anus.

The rampage knocked Ratel loose after it had sunk only slightly into the soft flesh.

A black lump of something—whether flesh or something else, I didn’t know—clung to Ratel’s surface.

“Urgh.”

[Why that face, Gretchen? You’re the one who turned Ratel into an ass-scratcher just to spite me.]

Wait.

Was this bastard genuinely pissed?

Considering that the way she exploited a child was filthier than literal excrement, I’d assumed she would laugh off an insult like this too.

She had responded with a smile to almost anything I said before, after all.

I flicked the black grime stuck to Ratel toward the demon—unfortunately, it passed through her like she was a ghost—and discreetly studied her concealed face.

It was still difficult to tell whether she was genuinely furious or merely mildly annoyed.

[Why are you staring at me? Want to torment me even more? I’ve already suffered more than enough at your hands.]

“Oh, fuck off. If you call that suffering, what does that make everything that child and I went through?”

BOOM!

I launched myself into the air to evade Behemoth’s charge after it turned around.

My direction was straight ahead.

The approaching Behemoth and my body closed the distance between us in an instant.

“I want you to receive the punishment you deserve.”

But instead of colliding with Behemoth, I stepped onto its tusk and raced up along it.

BUZZZZZZ.

A weak flare scattered the swarm of flies trying to block my vision.

My sight cleared, and I climbed rapidly up the building-sized monster.

“I’m not even asking you to be punished for every single thing you’ve done.”

Soon, an enormous eye entered my sight.

“I just want you to get enough punishment back for that child to vent at least a little of what you did to him.”

Ratel shot out again.

“And fuck, I want karma to pay you back for at least half the frustration you’ve force-fed me because of you.”