Chapter 251 — Would It Mean Anything? (5)
It wasn’t as though I particularly wanted to leave my mark on this world. I wasn’t attached enough to this place to want to be remembered as myself rather than as the “Demon Knight.”
By the same token, I didn’t want to reveal my circumstances just to buy myself needless sympathy. All the more so because I knew that whatever empathy they might feel for me could be outweighed by their desire for gain—and that it could happen very, very easily.
But what if the goodwill I bought by telling them my circumstances brought me a valuable clue?
What if it could sway the heart of someone who had no intention of killing me, but might know something?
Then I could talk. I could talk as much as necessary.
I was someone whose desire to go home outweighed his pride.
[Sooo… isn’t that completely insane!? No matter what, dragging in a soul from another world?! Even if a demon was involved, this crosses the line by a mile!]
Putting that aside… wasn’t that reaction a little too genuinely furious? I just… figured there’d be a reasonable amount of shock, maybe a bit of pity like, “You’ve really got it rough, huh? Tsk, tsk.”
“…I thought you hated me.”
[That was when I mistook you for Demon Vessel Number One!]
“I don’t think things are all that different now.”
[They are! They’re different! Anyway, they’re different!]
And there was good reason for me to think otherwise. The attitude Yukgwi had shown me up until now could be described as brusque, prickly, displeased, and hostile.
Yukgwi had merely left me alone because there was no power to kill me directly and no willingness to go so far as to incite someone else into killing me. Personally, Yukgwi had hated me quite a lot.
[Honestly, I can’t believe this. What, drag in a soul from another world? A bet? Are you kidding me!? It’s not you who’ll suffer the consequences, so who cares, is that it?! You’re already being called a demon anyway, is that it!? Rotten! Absolutely rotten to the core! I mean it!!]
Even now, I could clearly remember all the fights Yukgwi had picked with me—telling me to go eat porridge because watching me peck at my food ruined the appetite, or to lie down and sleep because watching me drag myself around was irritating….
The stark contrast between those moments and the barrage of words now made the back of my head itch. How should I put it? Getting a reaction I hadn’t expected at all left me feeling strangely awkward.
[And what about the original owner of that body!? Fine, a demon will do demon things, but what the hell was with that one too!!]
More importantly, isn’t your voice a little too loud? At this rate, you’re going to wake everyone up.
I glanced around at Yukgwi’s rising volume. I was worried that the Mountain Lord or the priests—some of whom were staying near the cave entrance—might wake up.
[If they weren’t confident they could clean up the pile of shit called a demon and needed someone else’s help, fine. Fine! But shouldn’t they at least have chosen someone from the same world?! Why someone from another dimension?!]
Fortunately amid all that misfortune, no one had awakened yet. Maybe Yukgwi’s voice only sounded loud to me, while in reality it was about as loud as a chick peeping.
What a relief.
[And you! Youuuuu are a problem too! Why are you carrying all of that by yourself? Do you think that if you just grit your teeth and wait, everyone else will magically start treating you properly?! You thought, “I never said anything, but we understand each other without words,” and it would all work out somehow?! Are you a sucker?!]
It really was a relief, but hadn’t the sparks started flying toward me now?
[Are you even listening to me, you frustrating idiot!!]
“…I am listen—I’m listening.”
Not content with screeching at me, Yukgwi started smacking the surroundings in frustration, and the sight reminded me uncannily of my late grandmother. I barely managed to suppress the respectful speech that almost slipped out on instinct.
As for the slight mistake I made in the process… well, Yukgwi didn’t seem to notice, so it probably didn’t matter.
[Then why didn’t you say anything!]
“Because even if I did, my circumstances still wouldn’t take priority…?”
[That’s…!]
Seriously, though. It was damn hard to keep speaking informally.
The moment I started talking about my circumstances, my persona kept threatening to loosen without me noticing, and I rolled my eyes around. Tap, tap. At a loss for words, Yukgwi struck the rock in frustration.
[…That’s true.]
At that rate, Yukgwi was going to get hurt.
I stared at the surface of the rock where Yukgwi had settled. The nest was piled with well-dried reeds, and the ground below was thick with soft moss, so why insist on pounding that exact spot? Didn’t that hurt?
[The sorrow of one whole world and the sorrow of one life simply don’t carry the same weight.]
While I thought that, Yukgwi lowered the head gloomily. That head, buried between gathered fins, looked remarkably like a child crouching down with hands resting on the knees.
[…Is that why you ran away?]
“…Yeah.”
A turtle only slightly larger than my palm looked pretty cute doing that.
I was entertaining that thought when I belatedly realized our conversation was drifting completely off-topic. It’d be a problem if everyone woke up at this rate!
“So, your answer?”
[I’ve thought this for a long time, but regardless of your circumstances, you really do talk like you have no manners.]
“…….”
[And you never clearly stated what your question was.]
I had pressed for an answer because I wanted to hurry on my way.
And got smacked in the face with facts.
Right. Yukgwi was a being who had lived for thousands of years. Compared to that, I was a green little brat who hadn’t even lived fifty.
It was a little strange for a nonhuman being to care about human etiquette, but that was still more than enough reason to take offense. I cautiously gauged Yukgwi’s mood.
“I would like to know whether there is any way… other than sealing, to conceal Demonic Energy.”
It felt like Yukgwi would probably answer even if I didn’t switch to respectful speech… but there was no harm in speaking politely. Now that I’d revealed some of the truth, continuing to act like an asshole was exhausting too.
[…There isn’t anything you can use.]
More than anything, I wanted to.
Feeling as though I’d undone one button on my shirt, I listened carefully. Apparently a little respect had softened Yukgwi’s mood quite a bit, because the explanation that followed was kinder than before.
[You’d have to seal it, kill the demon, completely suppress it with overwhelming power, or convert the Demonic Energy into Mana. But if any of that were possible in the first place, you wouldn’t be here looking like this, would you?]
“Purification…?”
[No. Purification only works when the demon can be separated from the body while the original individual remains alive. But the way you are now….]
Yukgwi thought for a moment, then offered an analogy.
[Suppose you have a sack of flour and put one apple inside. If you take the apple back out, there’s almost no reason the flour would be damaged. Unless the apple gets crushed while you’re taking it out, was already crushed beforehand, or has been sitting in there for far too long.]
I immediately got the general idea.
So… was I the case where the apple had been left in the flour too long?
[But you’re more like… someone put an old apple and a crushed apple into the flour, then sprinkled a handful of dirt into it for good measure. There’s no way to separate out only the flour anymore.]
Nope.
It was worse than that.
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“Then…?”
[Honestly, at this point, I think even killing the demon would cause problems. You—meaning the body you’re using now—have been fused with the demon for far too long. To the point where it can no longer really be categorized as human. To be honest… hmm.]
So if the demon died, this body would die too.
I calmly waited for whatever came next while pressing down the turmoil building inside me.
[Ah, wait, wait. Could that be why?]
Yukgwi suddenly let out a sound of realization.
“……?”
[I wondered why they specifically dragged in a soul from another dimension… but if that’s the reason, it makes sense.]
“…Does that mean I owe you another answer in exchange?”
[No, that’s fine. I mean, sure, I’d appreciate one, but I’ll answer this for free. If we’re being technical, you’re a victim who got dragged into this world’s circumstances.]
It was a relief if I could get the answer without another exchange of questions, but… what in the world had Yukgwi realized?
I quietly waited.
[Before I tell you, there are two things I should warn you about. First, this is only my theory, so I could be wrong—though I think there’s a high chance I’m right, but anyway. Second, you may regret hearing this afterward.]
“…Is it that serious?”
[Ah, hmm. The contents are one thing, but the act of hearing it itself is also a problem. You know how they say ignorance is bliss? Once you know, you can’t go back.]
The reprieve being offered before getting to the point felt like an omen of the devastation waiting just ahead.
[So, do you want to hear it?]
“…….”
But was I going to tremble at that warning and back away? Was I going to repeat the same act of wandering around blindfolded simply because the unknown frightened me?
“I’ll listen.”
No.
I didn’t want that.
I had floundered more than enough already. At this point, I’d rather know and regret it. I was tired of wandering around without knowing anything.
[All right. As long as you’re prepared.]
My tightly shut eyelids felt strangely hot.
[The reason the demon and the original owner of the body went out of their way to drag in a soul from another dimension was probably because they wanted to make use of the Concealment of Ignorance. It’s a kind of workaround that exploits the rule that “perception proves existence”… but since that rule doesn’t apply to this world, beings belonging to this side’s order can’t use it even if they want to. It can only be used when a being who belongs to that order, like you, is present.]
“…Would you mind explaining in more detail?”
[Hmm. Sure. It is a somewhat difficult concept for humans.]
Yukgwi gently stroked the lower part of the mouth with a fin as though a human were rubbing their chin, then chirped away.
[This rule is… exactly what it sounds like. If something isn’t perceived, or you refuse to perceive it, then it becomes nonexistent. If you don’t acknowledge a god, then the god does not exist. If you believe demons don’t exist, then demons disappear. Of course, there are more detailed provisions, like the more widely shared belief taking precedence….]
“…I’m not trying to argue, but when I first woke up in this body, I didn’t know there was a demon inside it. Why didn’t the demon disappear then? Is that another one of those detailed provisions?”
[Ah, no. That’s just because the worlds are different.]
“…What does that mean?”
[Sooo… the workaround itself activates thanks to your soul, but because the demon belongs to a different order, the rule isn’t reflected perfectly.]
I listened to all of that and thought,
What the hell does that mean?
[How am I supposed to explain this?]
As if noticing my frustration, Yukgwi tapped the ground with a fin.
[Your world is one where perception is used to define existence. Ours isn’t. That’s number one.]
“Yes.”
[And under the rule I mentioned earlier, anything you fail to perceive becomes nonexistent. That doesn’t happen to us. That’s number two.]
“Yes.”
[Then you’re left with a contradiction, like a spear that can pierce anything against a shield that can block anything, right? That’s the point where the “Concealment of Ignorance” is born. A Concealment of Ignorance that does not exist, yet exists.]
“…You mean it seems as though something has disappeared, but it’s still there?”
[Exactly. Until you perceive it, it becomes nonexistent. But it hasn’t actually vanished. You’re acting as a screen, letting it “pretend not to exist.”]
Only then did I feel as though I was beginning to understand.
“…But even when I was completely unaware of its existence, someone still sensed Demonic Energy from me.”
If what Yukgwi said was true, then why had my first meeting with the Inquisitor gone the way it had? At the time, I’d considered the demon in my right arm nothing more than part of my character setting. It had never even crossed my mind that the demon might actually exist.
So why had the Inquisitor been able to sense Demonic Energy from me anyway?
[Because the difference in rank is too great. Even if you exploited a law of the world, the one actually using it is still you—one single soul. If that were enough to conceal an entire Great Demon, wouldn’t that be the real problem? If anything, I’m amazed you’ve managed to conceal this much.]
That more or less answered my question.
It wasn’t as though I had no complaints, but if that was simply how the laws of the world worked, what was I supposed to say?
[Well, that isn’t the important part. This makes it almost certain that they brought you here because they wanted to use the Concealment of Ignorance. You probably can’t tell yourself, but… your body has become even more demon-like after hearing all this. If you don’t rein it in, you’ll be detectable from a hundred ri away.]
“…That is not good news.”
[I told you. Once you know, you can’t go back.]
Shit.
It was nice to have my curiosity satisfied, but the fact that satisfying it had turned into poison was enough to make me lose my mind. Was this really right? Could I actually go home?
“…Then could the reason the being who brought me here never explained anything to me be because of that?”
Suddenly, I remembered the System that had never offered a single word no matter how desperately I pleaded.
I reconsidered that unnatural silence.
Until now, I had simply written it off as some cruel, selfish, heartless son of a bitch screwing people over for fun… but had there been a reason for that silence too?
[That’s very likely. Surely they aren’t the kind of bastard who’d make you clean up the shit they took without explaining anything first, right? If that really is what happened, then that bastard deserves to be beaten to death.]
“…I see.”
I exhaled through a suffocating sense of frustration. Even I couldn’t tell what emotion was hidden in the strands of breath unraveling one by one.
“So that was why.”
But one thing, at least, was certain….
Of all the labels I had acidly attached to whoever was hiding behind the System, perhaps I might take back the accusations of being cold and heartless.
Meaning, if everything ended and I ever got a chance to speak to that person. And if it turned out they really had wanted to tell me, but had held back solely for my sake—oh, sure, even then I’d still want to curse them to hell for choosing a method that was fucked beyond belief. Fuck, how was kidnapping me however they pleased and keeping their damn mouth shut to the bitter end supposed to be for my sake? If they really cared about me, they should never have brought me here in the first place, or at the very least asked for my consent, this fucking—if that really was why they had kept silent… then maybe I could downgrade them from “a selfish, cruel, heartless motherfucker” to “still a selfish motherfucker who at least tried to think of me, except the way they went about it was completely fucked.”
That was, of course, only if the opportunity ever came to learn the truth.
[…Don’t tell me you’re starting to feel sorry for the bastard who summoned you.]
“I’m not that much of a sucker.”
I simply meant that if someone switched the tracks to save five people and then apologized to me, the person who had been sacrificed, I would tell them that I understood why they made that choice.
And understanding and forgiveness were two different things.
Of course they were. My life had been thoroughly fucked. Why should I forgive them? Five people might have been saved, but I was still the one who got sacrificed.
A sacrifice only has value when the person being sacrificed volunteers for it.
A sacrifice someone else decides on isn’t a sacrifice.
It’s a living offering.
“I should beat them half to death.”
So that bastard was going to get hit.
No.
They were going to get beaten to absolute shit.
Like I’d just said, understanding and forgiveness were two different things.
[Yeah. That’s more like it.]
At my decisive response, Yukgwi gave a satisfied shrug of the shell.