It wasn’t as though I’d never seen something like this before.
Fans organizing events for singers at concerts wasn’t exactly rare.
I’d seen them three or four times myself whenever I’d gone to fulfill a data commission.
I’d never felt anything particularly special about it.
I’d only thought it was impressive that so many people, without even being paid, could coordinate their timing and pull something off together.
But this…
Being the actual target of it myself was an entirely different experience.
Could the fact that each and every one of those countless swaying lights represented someone’s feelings really become this tangible?
This overwhelming sense of something shared, experienced not as an outsider but from the very center of it.
…I don’t know.
I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.
“…….”
Even then, the singing continued.
……It was my part.
Even if nothing lasts forever
The magic of this moment
Maybe it’s YOU
A shiver beyond anything I’d imagined ran all the way from the top of my head to my toes, like someone had poured hot water over me.
“……Hup.”
I hurriedly lowered my head.
Once it disappeared from my field of view, it got a little better.
But at the same time, I wanted to raise my head and see more.
‘……This is a disaster.’
It was ridiculous.
The singing still continued without pause in my ears.
Today I feel good, as if
Something good is about to happen
And now the other guys had joined in too.
Big Sejin was the first.
“…If it’s you, everything will be okay~”
Apparently it had moved them pretty badly too, because I could clearly hear every member’s voice trembling whenever his own part came around.
“Li, Life is strange, lightly….”
Kim Raebin’s rap part followed, accompanied by sniffling.
And soon, my part was coming again.
‘…I’m going insane.’
For the moment, I lifted my microphone.
“……When you see me,”
…I blew an entire line.
Even the words I came in with late wouldn’t connect properly.
‘Damn it.’
The silence must have started to seem strange because at last everyone’s gazes poured toward me.
“…Moondae?”
“M-Moondae?”
“Are you crying?”
Suddenly, several hands shook my shoulders and patted the back of my neck and my back.
Startled exclamations mixed in among the voices of the fans who were still singing.
‘…Good lord.’
I pressed around my eyes with one hand.
Then I raised my head and looked around as calmly as I could.
Most of the members had reddened eyes.
But while some were teary or visibly choking up, there was no one actually letting tears stream down his face…
Not even Bae Sejin was crying like this.
‘What the f*ck.’
Was I…
Was I seriously the only one who looked like a weirdo right now?
“Oh my goodness.”
“Moondae of all people.”
The guys who had gathered around laughed a few times and, fortunately, began genuinely crying themselves.
They’d obviously been holding it in too.
“……Let’s do well.”
Drunk on the atmosphere, they mercilessly threw hugs around my head and shoulders.
It was hot.
I couldn’t tell whether I was suffocating because we were all clinging to each other or because the situation itself was suffocating.
What do we do
Don’t cry
It’s okay
During the instrumental break, all sorts of shouts reached my ears in place of the singing.
“Ugh.”
The hug finally loosened.
Big Sejin, who had run off somewhere and come back, shoved a piece of cloth in front of my face.
Without even thinking, I grabbed it and pressed it against my face.
Navy lettering showed against a pale lavender background.
…It was the slogan.
Someone must have thrown it onto the stage.
‘I’m going crazy.’
I just buried my face in it.
I must have looked absolutely ridiculous.
Someone roughly ruffled my hair.
“You worked hard.”
Before the instrumental break ended, the members led me toward the front of the stage.
Then, standing side by side and holding hands, we bowed deeply.
Cheers thundered through my head instead of song.
I staggered and lifted my microphone.
“…Yeah. The magic really is you.”
Fortunately, I somehow managed to sing the final line.
The fan event disguised as a talk segment ended, and only after I’d barely managed to say a few words about how I felt did we finally go back below the stage.
Only then did I finally stop bawling.
‘…Should’ve managed that five minutes ago.’
This was absurd.
I never dreamed that the first time I’d cried in nearly seven years would be live, in front of thirteen thousand people and cameras.
‘…Should I not have avoided monitoring SNS?’
If I’d at least known in advance, it might have been better.
But with the concert right around the corner, we’d all agreed not to look at the internet for about a week so we wouldn’t be unnecessarily affected by anything.
It wasn’t like we’d done any activities that particularly required monitoring, so I thought it would be fine.
‘Who knew something like this… would be happening beneath the surface during that time.’
There would be no more useless internet detoxes in my life.
I almost crumpled the slogan in my hand, but managed to stop myself and carefully folded it before setting it on a nearby chair.
“Hey, I seriously never expected that from you. You don’t even cry when we get first place.”
“…….”
“You really were born to be an idol. A man who only cries in the face of his fans’ love… Wow.”
“Enough.”
For someone who’d sobbed his eyes out too, he sure could run his mouth once we were offstage.
Big Sejin cackled as he changed clothes.
“A-Are you okay?”
“…I’m fine.”
This one was genuinely worried, so I couldn’t even get angry.
Seon Ahyeon seemed deeply moved, but he hadn’t cried much, so his face looked perfectly fine and saved the staff some work.
Bae Sejin, on the other hand, only started shedding tears once we’d come down, leaving even the staff flustered.
“…Hyung, how are you doing?”
“I-I’m perfectly fine.”
Bae Sejin barely managed to stop sniffling as he finished getting his makeup retouched.
“We don’t have much time. We need to move.”
Ryu Chungwoo, who had cried quickly and regained his composure just as quickly, immediately brought the situation back under control.
Beside him, Cha Eugene, who hadn’t cried at all and had only been excited, was already completely changed.
“Let’s go, let’s go!”
…Right.
It was time.
The long-awaited title-track stage was waiting.
“Fifty seconds left on the VCR!”
We ran to the standby area.
The set had probably already risen onto the center stage, where the lights were still out.
I pictured the storyboard.
An old-fashioned mansion.
A dust-covered chandelier, butterfly specimens, and a rusted birdcage.
And wind-up keys on our backs.
“Going up!”
The stage mechanism began moving.
The instant the floor opened and our heads emerged onto the stage, light and cheers began roaring around us.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaah—
But this was no longer the time to be overwhelmed.
It was time to shake off every lingering emotion and focus again.
Blue lights pierced the stage.
TeSTAR took formation.
“Huuuuuh…….”
On the weekend night of the thirty-first, after both days of TeSTAR’s concert had ended—
Park Moondae’s fansite master staggered along, clutching her bag.
Inside was her admirable camera, which had successfully completed its filming mission from the standing section.
After attending two days of concerts, crying both days, taking photos, and even standing through today’s entire show, her stamina had hit rock bottom.
But she had no regrets.
Not a single one.
Not even a speck, not even the tiniest particle!!
‘It was so good…….’
There hadn’t been a single disappointing element from beginning to end.
She didn’t just like that they were giving it everything they had.
The stages themselves had simply been incredibly fun and good.
It felt as though she’d briefly stepped into another world and then returned.
‘It’s such a shame it ended after only two days…!’
She wished they’d do just two more days.
And even though she’d only just walked out after seeing them, she already wanted desperately to see TeSTAR alive and moving again.
Unable to contain the emotions boiling inside her, she opened her phone and logged onto SNS.
Then, even if they were only low-quality photos she’d taken of the images on her camera with her smartphone, she quickly uploaded them.
========================
[2X0331 Final Show Park Moondae Preview]
(Photo of Park Moondae with reddened eyes) (Photo of Park Moondae touching his cheek with a finger during the unit stage) (Photo of Park Moondae looking back while riding the wire)
I love you, Moondae
#TeSTAR #ParkMoondae #Moondoggo
========================
Her heart especially ached every time she looked at the first photo she’d attached.
It showed Park Moondae standing with his head slightly lowered, clutching a piece of paper tightly in both hands as he tried to hold back his tears.
The fansite master pounded her chest inwardly.
‘Our boy really is a puppy angel…….’
Park Moondae had cried on the second day of the concert too.
The fans had prepared an event different from the first day.
During the encore, while TeSTAR sang their fan song, they would send paper airplanes flying through the air.
Naturally, TeSTAR had once again been overwhelmed by the spectacular sight of ten thousand paper airplanes of every color rising together through the concert hall.
And when TeSTAR caught several airplanes that were lucky enough to reach the stage, they ended up checking what was written inside them too.
—Uh, this is…….
—Wait, ah…….
—…….
The fans had each written whatever they wanted to say inside the sheets of paper before folding them into airplanes.
It was an event so touching it was almost cruel.
During the process, several members ultimately ended up with red-rimmed eyes.
And the fansite master’s first preview photo was of Park Moondae during precisely that moment.
And Park Moondae…
Despite having the image of the member least likely to cry, he’d also been the one who cried the hardest at the concert.
The waterfall of tears from someone who had laughed instead of shedding even a single tear when he won first place on <Idol Inc.>, when TeSTAR got their first win on a terrestrial network after debut, and at every awards ceremony, had incredible destructive power.
On the first day, not only the fans but even all kinds of online communities had completely exploded.
—Holy shit, even Bearhead cried?
└It wasn’t just crying, it was basically sobbing (photo)
└Whoa
└It’s real, holy shit, his face is soaked with tears
—ㅋㅋㅋ I thought he wouldn’t cry even when they win a Daesang, but one measly concert singalong broke him, this is fucking thrilling
└Eeeek, pervert! (covers mouth
└Bet this bastard is smiling if you move that hand
└How’d you know
—If he cries at every concert from now on I’ll buy the VOD. Bought this one already. Hurry up, I want to see it in HD
└ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ for real
—Those Syeombyeol guys sure cry easily. Then again, I’d cry too if my first concert was at the Gymnastics Arena
└Maybe because they got swarmed by fucking trolls and grew up tasting society’s Buldak-level spiciness even before debut, they seem to know their fans are precious
└Yeah, even if they don’t know, they’re the kind of guys who’ll at least act like they do, so they’re fun to stanㅋ If they couldn’t even manage that, they’d already have gotten smacked down and eliminated on that doomed Idol Inc.
—Yep, my pink-ribbon-wearing, cuteness-performing Bearhead, idol for a thousand years♡♡ Syeombyeol, treat Bearhead well. He even gives CPR to your shit song choices♡♡ Bearhead, cry a lot and keep feeling indebted to your fans♡♡
└ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Welcome, akgae
For reference, Syeombyeol was TeSTAR’s search-avoidance name after being mutated to the absolute extreme.
In any case, from communities where people threw insults around with no filter at all to polite fan accounts with manners and common sense, TeSTAR’s activities at this concert spread rapidly everywhere.
New unit stages, a shocking new-song performance, and even the sight of them crying—there were all kinds of things worth talking about, so perhaps that was only natural.
One piece of evidence was that the share count on Park Moondae’s fansite master’s previews easily passed a thousand less than five minutes after she uploaded them.
Responses from acquaintances and followers also poured in.
—Moondae’s blond hair is precious. Protect it at all costs
—SO CUTE♡
—Aww, our Moondoggo cried againㅠㅠ FullMoonBaby-nim, thank you as always!
—His real skin color is beautiful, too. STOP whitewashing (crying emoji)
└This is an unedited preview, you lunatic. Fuck off and stop screaming WHITEWASHING at every fansite you see;
It looked like more and more international fans were starting to gather, because foreign-language trolls had begun appearing as well.
‘These people pick fights with every fansite master.’
It was a sight she’d seen plenty of times before, so she ignored it without difficulty.
Then she quickly boarded the subway that had just arrived.
‘Ugh, there are seriously so many people…….’
On the first day, she’d gotten a ride with a friend who had watched from a different area, so getting home had been easy.
But there was no possibility of that kind of lucky break today.
‘Should I have just taken a taxi or booked a hotel?!’
Just as she was about to regret it, fortunately a seat opened directly in front of her and she was able to sit down.
‘Thank goodness.’
The moment she sat, the fansite master picked up her camera and began rapidly flicking through the shots she’d taken.
She couldn’t get the new-song performance out of the back of her mind.
‘It was seriously insane.’
She never imagined they’d bring something like that.
But she was so grateful they had!
Because first impact mattered, there was an unspoken atmosphere among fans that photos and fancams of the new-song stage shouldn’t be uploaded until midnight.
But honestly, she wanted to brag about it so badly.
‘I can at least rewatch it.’
Just as the fansite master was about to check the fancam she’d recorded today, a vibration suddenly buzzed against her lap.
Brrrrr—
It was her smartphone.
And in the notification window was news she hadn’t expected at all.
[Loviewers are invited to TeSTAR’s concert afterparty! (clapping emoji)]
It was a W Live notification!
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