Chapter 113. A Person’s Heart, You Know
Was it Shine’s petty scheme? Fortunately, there was no moment where Headmaster sunbae drew his sword.
If you ask me, the biggest reason was that he didn’t have a sword.
“…I’m sorry.”
Unexpectedly, Headmaster sunbae bowed his head without resistance.
Huh? He really bowed his head.
It wasn’t like he’d lowered himself all the way down like some sinner who’d committed high treason, but it was a polite apology.
“No, well. I mean…….”
I was pretty taken aback.
Because it was something that was bound to happen someday.
In the first place, the reason Headmaster sunbae had tacitly overlooked my existence was because he was a madman (狂人) who was far from normal.
And what I’d done in the great forest was strange enough that even by a madman’s standards, you could call it strange.
When I stood there awkwardly, Headmaster sunbae explained, in detail, the motive behind his suspicion.
“I’m not trying to make excuses. It’s just… old memories came back to me. That was all.”
It was something like this.
An old war between the Empire and the kingdoms.
Even the visible skirmishes on the surface were horrific, but the underwater operations were said to have been even fiercer.
If we sent one spy, they sent two. If we sent four, they sent eight.
Things like “our unit’s ace turned out to be the enemy’s spy” were apparently commonplace.
“…….”
Listening quietly, I could understand Headmaster sunbae’s heart to some extent.
What I mean by “understand” isn’t that I understood the logic behind his actions. Literally, his heart.
Post-war trauma.
A symptom often seen in retired soldiers—after experiencing a severe incident, they continue to suffer from the shock.
Headmaster sunbae, whom I’d thought was solid as a rock. In one corner of his heart, the scars the old war had clawed into him remained intact.
And I was the same.
Out of habit, I erased my presence, reduced my sense of existence, and when I met someone new, I first assessed not what kind of person they were, but whether I could kill them.
Even my heart—light as paper—was stained with the dark blotches of my Troubleshooter days.
Anyway, at least in this moment, I faced sunbae seriously as well.
“Sunbae.”
“Speak.”
“I fully sympathize with your feelings. Yes—you probably can’t understand it. Born a vagrant from the Black and White Zone. The only special point, if you can call it that, is my connection with House Brando.”
“…….”
“If you ask whether that background can explain my realm… I’d rather listen to a dog barking. That’s how nonsensical it would be. …But.”
A gentle breeze seeped into the hideout.
Keeping my gaze sunk deep into his eyes, I continued in a clear voice.
“Even so, I don’t have an answer I can hand you.”
“…….”
“It’ll be hard to believe, but I’ve spoken only the truth. There are no lies. And even so, if I can’t earn your trust—what more words are needed here? It’s just… this is me.”
Yeah. That’s just who I am.
Of course, if I wanted to explain my existence, it wasn’t as if I couldn’t.
My realm could be explained by my past life, and regression could be explained if I revealed the existence of the Fire Seal (Hwain / 火印).
But that… wasn’t a secret I had to carry to the grave, yet it also wasn’t something I could reveal lightly.
A being that simply fell out of the sky.
And honestly, it wasn’t only sunbae’s problem.
House Brando, Oberon, Riheim sunbae, Chenbi and the rest… maybe even Demian.
If anyone were in sunbae’s position, they’d doubt the rootless essence of what I am.
It was a relationship that wouldn’t be strange if it shattered at any time.
This loneliness was practically a task I’d have to shoulder for my entire life in this life.
It wasn’t especially painful. I’d prepared the resolve to bear it.
But still…
“I don’t want to fabricate lies and buy trust. So… can’t you just believe me, for that much?”
A small selfish wish of mine.
I didn’t expect much.
Because if it were me, I couldn’t do it.
Believing a person as the person themselves—it’s easy to say, but never easy.
Looking back, even when I believed Demian, and believed Chenbi, and believed Shine, and believed Headmaster sunbae, it wasn’t truly the person themselves I believed. It was only the situation and background—the shared interests.
When my words ended, silence settled over the hideout.
Even Breakfast No. 1, as if it could read the atmosphere, only stared blankly, looking back and forth between Headmaster sunbae and me.
Petty Shine still glared at Headmaster sunbae, and Headmaster sunbae only quietly looked at me with his deep, sunken eyes.
The first to speak was Shine.
“I believe you.”
A voice without even a hair’s breadth of wavering.
“You are a crafty piece of trash, but I believe you.”
The words, A believer follows you this far? rose to the tip of my throat, but I pressed them down.
And at the same time—how should I put it—
“……”
My heart felt lighter.
And when Headmaster sunbae finally opened his mouth—
“I… will believe you too.”
I could set down, completely, the burden I’d been carrying without even realizing it.
Thud.
It wasn’t a bad night.
Even though the sun was high overhead.
Maybe because we’d already gone through that whole poodakgeori—that cathartic, ruckus-like blowout—after that, the conversation with Headmaster sunbae went smoothly.
“Ahem, hmhm.”
“Hmhm.”
Once you get old, it’s terribly awkward to show what’s inside your heart. Awkward fake coughs flew around every now and then in the middle of our conversation.
“But then, this one here is…….”
“This body is Shine von Le— mmph mmph!”
“The one I mentioned earlier—between the one I picked up and the one I reeled in, she’s the one I picked up.”
“She was saying Shine von Lehmann, vampire, and all that……?”
At sunbae’s dubious look, I swallowed down a curse.
This bad-tempered thing—stalking wasn’t enough, she couldn’t hold it in and just spilled her identity all over the place.
In the middle of the Empire. And at Zenion Academy, an institution directly under the imperial family, she goes and puts the name of a high traitor out there? No, it wasn’t just that.
‘Vampire, my ass…….’
This part hit harder than her real name.
A vampire, huh? I mean—fairy tales, myths, whatever—the popular perception is that they’re a legendary demonfolk, or a traitor to humanity on that level!
And yet, maybe because she’d done something wrong—
“…Well, I guess she’s a friend whose mind is a bit off.”
“Yes. Well. That’s right.”
No. That gaze was definitely not the gaze you use for “a friend whose mind is off.”
Those bright red eyes. Those sharp fangs. Skin pale like a corpse. Anyone would look at her and go, “vampire,” plain and simple.
And then she pops out from under a shadow? And then what—she says with her own mouth she’s a vampire, even a lord?
There was no wriggling out of this situation.
And yet, why?
Sunbae didn’t press the issue.
He only said—
“Well… they say a dog that bites people is the owner’s fault.”
“The dog I’m raising won’t bite. Though I’ve never raised a dog.”
“People always say that, but… fine. I’ll believe you.”
The only one who couldn’t keep up with the conversation was Shine.
She looked at me and sunbae like we were lunatics, like, A dog? What nonsense are you spewing?—and I almost couldn’t hold back from smacking her.
After that, we exchanged this and that small talk.
Ah, and for the record, my realm never came up.
No—probably a topic that, if possible, wouldn’t come up again going forward.
What worried me was Riheim sunbae. He was the one person who saw right through my realm, and—
‘Well. It’ll be fine.’
He’s not someone who would casually repeat things.
And from Riheim sunbae’s perspective, he’d probably think Headmaster sunbae knew me better than he did, so he wouldn’t spit out what he knew either.
When the Grand Duchess came up, the flow of the conversation faltered once.
“Ah, right. The Third said she’ll arrive around next week. Will you meet her—just once?”
“Are you insane? That crazy bitch wasn’t just a normal crazy bitch.”
“…Mm.”
What is that look?
Like, That’s not something that should be coming out of your mouth, followed by a fresh silence.
Headmaster sunbae stared at me for a moment, then apologized on the Grand Duchess’s behalf for the rudeness she’d committed at our first meeting.
At this point, I couldn’t help but be curious.
“By the way—what the hell is the Sakwol Insignia that everyone’s making such a fuss about?”
“You haven’t heard?”
“Well, I heard, kind of. Isn’t it basically like the Devoured Moon’s uniform?”
“That’s true, too. A memory that’s not quite a memory, I suppose.”
As if recalling those days, sunbae stared at the Sakwol Insignia on the table with a distant gaze.
For a while like that—
“The reason the Third is aiming for the insignia is probably because of a promise my comrades and I tied to the insignia.”
“A promise?”
“Yeah. A ‘wish right,’ you could call it. We promised that we’d grant one wish to the insignia’s successor.”
“…Ah.”
Hearing it like this, I could understand the Grand Duchess’s greed toward the Sakwol Insignia.
‘If this goes well, couldn’t she gather the Devoured Moon again?’
Probably, the Grand Duchess’s fervent wish was “the fall of the magic prestigious houses (名家).”
So of course she’d be desperate for the Devoured Moon.
Even if they were figures from a few generations back, just look at Headmaster sunbae even now. He was still lively enough to rival most active-duty people.
Maybe he noticed the look in my eyes—Headmaster sunbae smiled mischievously.
“What, do you want it?”
“No.”
This time, I meant it.
“Really? I thought you’d flip your eyes over it.”
“Not really.”
The Devoured Moon, whatever—I’m not interested. Well, maybe if I could go find them one by one and get a book from each of them, but even that wouldn’t be easy.
“Good. You’ve thought well. And even if we call it a ‘wish right,’ it’s not an absolute promise. They’re the kind of people who do whatever they feel like anyway. How many comrades do you think I had—how could we grant every successor’s request? Honestly, they’d probably try to kill each one who came.”
“Yes, well. They say birds of a feather flock together.”
“…?”
A flicker of killing intent showed at the corner of his eyes. That was definitely real.
And here, I realized one fact: that the Devoured Moon’s members were lunatics no less than Headmaster sunbae.
Then suddenly, something occurred to me.
“By the way—then why were you trying to call Riheim sunbae?”
“To set up a barrier. If we’re going to prepare for Salvatium and whatever else, I really need that friend’s help. You saw it too, so you’d know, right?”
That’s true.
I nodded like I agreed.
To create a barrier formation on the spot that filtered out only the ancient wraiths—if he could do that, then sure, even Salvatium wouldn’t be able to do much about it.
“Ah, right. That friend said he’ll come around vacation break. Will you see him?”
“No, not really.”
Again, I lightly shook my head.
With Riheim sunbae, even if he didn’t know my face, the instant we met he’d figure it out. Like, Ah. That guy is this guy.
And then the pattern with Headmaster sunbae could repeat.
Anyway, I made a few requests of Headmaster sunbae and wrapped up the conversation.
“Ah—could you get me an ID?”
“An ID?”
“Yes. This one needs something she can use.”
The one I pointed at was Shine.
Seeing her today, it looked like she could hide herself well enough, but still—if she was going to move around in any way, she’d need some kind of identity.
“And also—please look into a job opening.”
“A job opening?”
“Yes. Another freeloader tagged along. He used to be a Pathfinder, so something like an Academy guard position should be fine.”
“Alright. I’ll look into both.”
Headmaster sunbae today was pretty docile. Well, he’d done something wrong, so he’d have to keep his mania suppressed.
Just as I was finishing up and about to stand—
“Junior.”
“Yes, sunbae.”
“I’m sorry.”
At that serious voice, I gave a small laugh.
“…Isn’t that already a finished matter?”
“…Yeah.”
There was no more conversation needed between us.
But—
“Sunbae, but are you really sorry?”
“…?”
“No, you know. Are you just sorry with words, or are you truly sorry? Because people’s hearts—you don’t know unless they say it, and you don’t know unless they show it, right?”
A small token of sincerity.
Right now, didn’t we need some material exchange that could connect heart to heart?
That’s what I thought.
